Culinary-Cultural Vulturism

Eating trendily in private

allsyrupsupersquishee

When you’re a massive consumerist hoping never to be perceived as one, you might one day think about why you’re following cultural micro-trends so closely, even when no one is watching. When visiting Mæne a few days ago, unsubtly influenced by a @topjaw video with Dom Fernando (founder of Paradise, Soho) where he incredulously claims to have been to the restaurant three times in one week, I was thinking about this (DF didn’t actually go 3x in a week as revealed by a confidante in the food-pr scene). At Mæne between a glass of blurred vines and reading a menu with words like ‘allotment vegetables’, ‘butter bean cassoulet’, and ‘hazelnut pesto’ - I thought about the five I speak with the most, and how much they care about what was said in the last How Long Gone (Lena Dunham lol); as I broke my Hario Cold Brew bottle this morning by knocking it over the kitchen counter while reaching for my white Stagg Fellow, I thought about when I would get the transparent aeropress. I thought about whether I should move the gahwa from the burnt caramel Hornsea I currently have it in (various colours/patterns collected at various MCM fairs from Dulwich College to Bussey Building - good store of value for about 10-15 squids each), to the matte black vacuum flask holding a few tablespoons of Tim Wendelboe. I thought about why I have menus from The Pelican up on my fridge and a first-edition hand-forged All Day Santoku in double-stacked HAY crate. Who is watching? Does a Santoku cut better than something from IKEA? Does it cut better than a classic Wüsthof? Is it worth having a handle made from post-consumer plastic if it isn’t displayed on a magnetic knife-rack? Does a lacto-fermented sivri beber taste better than something someone who doesn’t have a seemingly untouched book of the Noma Guide to Fermentation, and The Food of Sichuan, and Cinnamon and Salt (not sure where that one came from) might have in their pantry. In my head, I re-ran a great conversation I had last weekend about a person who keeps posting about going to Jolene and Papos and how they were post-nusr-et-pilled, a venerable anti-influencer. What an arriviste! I bet they don’t even know that Kurisu is a Japanisation of Chris, or maybe that’s all he knows. Should I start drinking hojicha because nikl0w posted a dark beige tulip-topped latte this morning? “it tastes like the sea bream at cervos.. oh in the LES, oh NEW YORK…”

When finally opening certain IG DMs I know I don’t want to reply to, I’m not sure why I’m so incensed by a no-long-really-a-friend sharing deeply banal food content (stunt food x W1 nikkei restaurant opening x where to get random item in major metropolis halfway across the world) - does she not know I staged at a restaurant founded by the former executor of a Mexican pop-up outpost of a restaurant that won the Best Restaurant in the World award so many times it had to be disqualified from winning again? I feel violently confronted in my trend hunting when people I hope to never be compared with, ask for my ‘restaurant recommendations’ - have you ever written a food essay? Who will share the next smelly lunchbox critique with me? really I am waiting.

cafe leon snore

The best conversation of the week was with another Kiln aficionado (by the way singburi #71 on national restaurant list - imagine), speaking about their greatest flash-in-the-pan hits - mine continues to be that one summer ace with the tiny plated messy snow crab legs covered in garlic, thai basil, and chopped chillies. Thanks SM for showing that the Orfali bros visited Kiln this week and had a chat with Meedu.

At a close friends supperclub in Chinatown this week, I was delighted to be cooked for by someone who shares my interest in what’s happening in modern restaurants; dreaming of perpetually being surrounded by those that doubly appreciate and lampoon a sous-vided koji-inflected small plate - thinking about which next wakeful

diaspora chef will put a elevated take of the foods from our childhood (it was between posting the wings and a tahdig burger), and when we will ascend to the seeming apex of urban food commentating - which seems to be a boredom and irritation with nu-europeanized notions of dining (poor man’s parmesan with new season asparagus anyone?) and a retreat to the food in the neglected suburbs.

Video of the week:

Article of the week:

https://dirt.fyi/article/2023/06/bad-waitress - thanks CC.

Also enjoyed:

The Cursed Menu of Lina Ghotmeh’s ‘Relentlessly Inoffensive’ Serpentine Pavilion

friends online: